The Conscious Bridge

Metacognition, according to Wikipedia, is an awareness of one’s thought processes and an understanding of the patterns behind them. It is basically “thinking about thinking.” Although some internet content has made it almost cliché—and it’s a well-known method among self-made people—journaling has really helped me observe my thinking patterns, and here is what I found: I can be quite biased. I realized that by appearing confident in what I have to say and staying stubbornly attached to my own truth—without the ability to take accountability for being wrong, and therefore without correcting my course—it can become dangerous. But that is okay. Making mistakes is necessary to even know how wrong you are. So I would say journaling has been helpful in navigating and analyzing my patterns in various situations and circumstances, knowing where I need to improve, and remembering that.

I understand that maintaining a journaling practice is easier said than done. Reading your own words can be a little cringey because, before you revisit them, you might think you already know what you’ve written. Recently, I started journaling through voice notes on my Apple Journal app, and listening to them on my headphones has actually not been too bad. I felt like I made “talking to myself” physically possible, and it was actually a privilege to hear myself out. I also noticed that during the recording, I tend to watch what I am saying —not because I am afraid of what I will think of myself later on, but because I feel this is now a safe space, so I want to cover as many details as possible. I do not journal every day, by the way; that is impossible for me. But when I do sit down with myself, the exercise feels as beneficial as a good therapy session. I’ve always been introspective, the type to sort things out in my own head, and I’m blessed to have a mind and body that can withstand difficult situations.

When I listen back to those recordings, I hear the voice of a person who is trying. And I realize this brain—the one that can be biased —is the same brain my family worked to educate and protect. That awareness makes journaling feel like a small way of not wasting what was given to me. My motivation is to live my life to the fullest without disappointment. I understand that Christians and other religions grasp this concept really well, but I believe in ancestors. Whether that includes Christ or Buddha is still unknown to me, but it is enough for me to embrace all of the DNA that I have accumulated by being born onto this earth. That includes intelligence. So I have to ask: If your guardians spent their lives making sure you receive an education, why not take advantage of that? And in my opinion, that does not mean getting an impressive career, as I don’t consider myself a capitalist. It means cultivating the critical thinking skills you can keep using to understand yourself and become a better person. Better yet, to become a better vessel for God’s work.

I am reflecting on these things as someone in my thirties. So my advice for anyone in their twenties is this: Keep going until you can say you learned from your failures. Some people say life is short, but I disagree. Focus on the present; the only way to guarantee a better future is to focus on what you can do right now—and that includes journaling.